Author: Mosh Note: You may not archive, re-post, or alter any of my stories without my permission. Please contact me first. Thanks! |
All he asked for were a few hours of peace and quiet so he could have a smoke or ten, drink a glass of something strong and highly alcoholic, and read his newspaper without the tedious banter from the others grating on his patience. Though, like most things in Sanzo’s life, his evening didn’t go as planned. “Hey, Sanzo.” Goku poked his head around the door and smiled, one eye closed in a wink; an odd habit he had picked up when greeting people. Sanzo had never found it endearing. It was shortly after dark; in the distance the town clock struck nine, and through the window fell a murky twilight, pushing shadows across the floorboards, up the walls. Sanzo had lit candles and the fire only moments ago, when he’d found himself squinting to see the words on the page before him. After supper earlier that evening Gojyo and Hakkai had taken Goku with them to town, but as far as Sanzo could tell they hadn’t returned with him. He could only imagine what manner of debauchery Gojyo was up to at that moment. He didn’t envy Hakkai, who was most likely trying to keep Gojyo out of fights, especially if the pair of them had been drinking since six. “Sod off,” Sanzo said, lifting his paper up to shield his face so he couldn’t see Goku. He wasn’t surprised when Goku ignored him, like he often did, and padded into the room. “What are you doing?” Goku stopped before Sanzo and dropped down on the floor at the monk’s feet. That was another odd habit he had taken to - sitting at Sanzo’s feet and watching him like some kind of rapt disciple. Out of the corners of his eyes, just beyond the range of his newspaper, Sanzo could see Goku smiling. Over the last few months Sanzo had found himself getting distracted by that smile on too many occasions, his eyes inexplicably drawn to the soft curve of Goku’s grin, the smooth white flash of teeth beneath it. Hearing Goku’s laughter was not as tiresome as it was before, and Sanzo could not explain why. He always shook himself out of his strange, uncalled-for mood, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. “I’m trying to read my paper in peace,” he said. “Oh,” said Goku. “But that’s boring.” Sanzo bit his tongue. He scanned the page again, after finding himself at the bottom but having not absorbed a single word. After a few minutes of silence, during which Sanzo’s patience wore thin, he gave up with what he was reading and closed his eyes. Even though Goku wasn’t being his usual noisy self, there was no point trying to concentrate with him in the room. His very presence was almost palpable; all that tension and energy stuffed into the too-small shell of his body, like a miniature bomb about to go off at any moment. “What do you want?” Goku hadn’t moved and was still staring intensely at Sanzo, as if he was trying to figure out a jigsaw puzzle. He had that half-amused, half-frustrated expression on his face that he got whenever Gojyo challenged him to a game of Janken. Then, with one quick move, Goku reached up and plucked the paper straight out of Sanzo’s hands, dropping it on the floor where the pages spilled out across the floorboards. Sanzo was so distracted by the loud rustle of paper and this odd behaviour from Goku that he didn’t have the chance to prevent or react to what happened next. Goku nimbly climbed up onto Sanzo’s lap, planting his knees at either side of Sanzo’s thighs, and placing his hands on his shoulders. His fingers squeezed tightly as if he knew Sanzo would try to move away. What the-? Sanzo froze, curses catching in his throat as he tried to figure out what had just happened. Goku was sitting on him - no doubt about it - and as a result of the sudden close proximity Sanzo’s senses flared, his body stiffened fully, and he became very aware of the faint earthy scent Goku always carried, much stronger than it had ever been before. The surprise was still too fresh for him to do anything but stare up at the monkey, but his trigger finger twitched, lamely. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Goku?” he finally managed to grate out. He drew back as far as he could in the chair, unused to such a brash invasion of his personal space. “Did Gojyo let you at the sake again?” He sincerely hoped so; if not, then Goku was entirely aware of his own actions, and in turn Sanzo was entirely responsible for the unwanted thrill of arousal that ran through him at the contact, as well as his lack of resistance. His chest felt tight - hell, his whole body felt wound up tight like a spring. Goku was either deliberately ignoring or not listening to him; he simply leaned forward, closer, closer, until Sanzo could see only the wide brown expanse of Goku’s eyes, the gold flicks within the irises, and the pale moist pink of his mouth. That mouth was open a fraction when it touched his own, and a sound caught sharply in Sanzo’s throat - a sound of shock and protest and question and want all mixed into one. He hated it, the weakness of that sound. A little too late he pushed Goku back with a firm palm to his chest. Sanzo could not think coherently to figure out what had just happened, why it had happened and, most importantly, why it had happened with Goku. He could only be sure that, somewhere at the back of his mind, Goku’s lips had been warm and not as greedy as he would’ve expected; they had been tender, almost. “Goku! What the hell?” The monkey stared at him, looking confused, curious, and hurt. “Isn’t that what people do when they like each other?” Such a simple question should have been easy to answer, yet Sanzo found himself at a loss for words. He shook his head in disbelief more than disagreement. The hell was Goku getting at? “That’s what Gojyo said I should do,” Goku continued. “It’s what he does with his girlfriends, isn’t it, Sanzo?” Gojyo. Sanzo should have known he’d been behind this. What, was he laughing at Sanzo’s expense? At Goku’s? Gojyo was dead meat. Whenever he managed to drag his drunk arse home, that was. “Sanzo?” Goku was still watching him closely, expectation etched on his features. “No,” said Sanzo, wishing his voice held a little more conviction. “Are you lying?” said Goku, and damnit, the cheeky monkey leaned in again and pressed his hot, soft mouth against Sanzo’s, just off centre. Again, Sanzo was slow to react, didn’t know how to proceed. Fuck, what the heck was wrong with him tonight? Why were his reactions so sluggish? Why did Goku’s closeness and warmth and fists balled in Sanzo’s robes affect him so much that they paralysed him? Sanzo liked to think he was a pretty level-headed guy when the shit hit the fan. But honestly, although a kiss sounded like nothing in the grand scheme of things, it was not easy to deal with. Goku stumbled on, obviously determined. His kisses were short, swift, inexperienced and oddly sweet - little pecks and cautious bites to the corners of Sanzo’s mouth. Sanzo could safely say he had never experienced anything like this, and judging from his lack of fight he could not deny it was ni - no, he was not going to reason this out. He decidedly did not part his mouth for more, nor did he stroke his tongue quickly across Goku’s lower lip, drawing out a wondrous gasp from him. So foreign and yet familiar at the same time, this closeness. All that care he’d taken up until now to keep Goku at arm’s length had been in vain. He had willed himself not pay too much attention to how much Goku needed him and, though he hated admitting it to himself, how much he had come to desire Goku’s company. He could not recall when it had gone from feeling burdened by his companion’s presence to burdened by loneliness when his companion was not around. Ugh. Sometimes he really hated how soft he had become. Like now; he had not pulled back from the kiss, even though he was sure he was only getting himself in deeper. Sanzo could equate it with watching himself having a car crash, aware of every detail and movement, but unable to do a damn thing to prevent it. Unable to prevent getting hurt. Goku hummed contentedly, the sound vibrating against Sanzo’s chest. And Sanzo had still not pulled back. The slide of Goku’s tongue as he experimented with the kiss was so innocently hot Sanzo had to shift his hips to keep Goku from feeling his growing arousal, as it insistently pushed up against the fabric of his robes. Almost in answer to Sanzo’s movement, Goku pressed closer, squeezing his legs against Sanzo’s thighs as if to hold him there. Certainly not the reaction Sanzo wanted. If there was some way of rewinding time to about ten minutes ago, Sanzo would have taken it. As it was, all Sanzo knew was that he had lost the battle with Goku, and with himself. He should be royally pissed off about that - the audacity of Goku, the lameness of his own resolve that had served him excellently in the past… He had to stop this out of control spiral, stop himself for stepping onto a path he wasn’t sure he should follow. He knew kisses would only lead him to yet more trouble, more expectations. More want. He hated being tied to fragile feelings. “Stop, Goku.” With a rush of breath on his cheek and a mortified sound, Goku buried his face into Sanzo’s shoulder. “He said you’d say no, too, but that you’d be lying.” That rat bastard sorry excuse for a water sprite. It would be a slow and painful death for Gojyo, oh yes. First, Sanzo would procure a real gun and put a metal bullet in each kneecap, then both elbows. Then his ears, nose… ruin that face Gojyo prided himself on so much. “Na, Sanzo?” Goku squirmed a little on Sanzo’s lap. Sanzo silently wished he’d stop - it was doing nothing to cool him off and clear his head. He wanted to push Goku away but at the same time not. He bit his lip to keep himself from saying something he’d regret, from making any awful sounds. The whole situation was in a shambles, and he didn’t even have a half bottle of whiskey to blame it on - he had only drank two shots tonight. “What?” he managed to grate out, silently hoping Goku’s next words would be “I’m hungry.” “Were you lying when you said no?” Ha, no such luck. Damnit. Goku’s huge eyes were bright and almost hopeful when he leaned back to get a good look at Sanzo. Not for the first time Sanzo found his attention drawn to the curve of Goku’s mouth, still temptingly wet from the kiss and shining in the low light of the fire and lamps. The heat and closeness of Goku’s body was strangely not as imposing as Sanzo would’ve thought, at least now he was settled and in a more subdued mood. And for the life of him, Sanzo had not pushed him off yet. He was quite unable to will his limbs to do so. What could he say? Goku laughed suddenly, surprising him once again. “If you could see your face!” There was triumph in his grin, in the tone of his voice, and Sanzo had the nasty feeling the monkey was much sharper than he let on. Dipping his head, Goku brushed his mouth along Sanzo’s jaw, stopping to nibble there for a moment. The unusual action sent little jolts of what felt like static all the way down Sanzo’s back and up under his hairline. He barely repressed a shiver, though it was likely Goku felt it anyway. “Oy, I’m not a spare rib,” Sanzo grumbled. Goku laughed again at that - a genuinely delighted sound, probably at the mention of food. “You are the bane of my existence,” said Sanzo quietly, finally. He knew he had lost his silent battle. What was one more sin to add to the long list he already carried? He’d never particularly cared about self image before, about his own vices, about rules and traditions. Why start now? Goku squirmed again, wriggling closer still and oh, he froze and gasped into Sanzo’s ear and at the same time Sanzo squeezed his eyes shut, sucking in a breath and curling his arms around Goku’s slight frame. That little bit of friction was nothing like the first, the one he’d been able to ignore (only just). This time, he had to bite back a groan at the rippling strokes of pleasure, the heavy throb of need that brought his cock to full hardness until he was almost aching from it. Damn. There was still time to push Goku away, get up and leave, or send him to bed alone… God, Sanzo really needed to not think about bed and Goku at the same time, not right now. At that moment Goku apparently realised just how good wriggling felt and gave another experimental rotation of his hips, followed by a soft, marvelling: “Oh...” This just would not do. Sanzo clenched his teeth hard and pushed up against him, drawing another “Oh…” out of Goku and a low curse out the back of his own throat. It was certainly nothing like getting himself off, during those rare, hurried moments he found time alone. With Goku’s shifting weight and intense heat bearing down on his cock, rubbing through the layers of denim and the light cloth of Sanzo’s robes, he could not help himself from arching up for more, taking what he so often denied himself. “Sanzo…” Goku breathed in his ear, voice hushed and breathless. “I… oh… this…” Goku’s words curled sweetly in Sanzo’s mind, snaked hotly over his skin. He dared not speak, lest he reveal just how close he was to losing it. He gave a little growl in response and let Goku kiss him again - he seemed to enjoy kissing, and Sanzo mused that Goku was probably the most orally fixated person on the planet - let him have what he wanted. As always. Kissing like this wasn’t something Sanzo was used to. He didn’t trust easily and over the years he had been subject to some awful things, and yes, he knew he had become very jaded over time. But now, there was an irresistible simplicity to what Goku was asking, offering. Warmth. Comfort. A release. I’m such an idiot, he thought to himself, and then became too distracted to think any more on it. Goku moved in an uneven rhythm on Sanzo’s lap, a rough back and forth grind that made Goku’s hardness apparent; it insistently pushed against Sanzo’s stomach with every forward rock and Sanzo almost reached out to touch, almost. As Goku’s voice rose in pitch, breaking a little, Sanzo squeezed him tightly. Within moments Goku was shuddering, letting out a long, desperate groan. Sanzo held on to him and bit down on the silky curve of Goku’s neck, just above where it met his shoulder. When he pulled away he could see a lurid red crescent moon shape left by his teeth. For someone that would not die, Goku was terribly easy to mark. Goku’s squirming was getting too much, and Sanzo found himself drawing in ragged breath. He thrust up roughly, licking the tang of sweat from his top lip where it mingled with the taste of Goku’s skin from earlier. He vaguely wondered if he’d ever be rid of that taste now, and part of him didn’t really care. Everything - all the tension in his body, the heat - travelled south for a fierce, blinding moment and Sanzo jerked upwards, up against the solid resistance of Goku’s arse. He clenched his teeth hard, his violent release rolling straight out of him in heady waves, one after the other after the other oh God… Then. A few heartbeats. A whispered curse. Sanzo felt like he was melting into the chair as his body relaxed, all the previously built up tension having blissfully drained from him. The intensity of his orgasm left him feeling sedate, almost drunk. He loosened his hold on Goku and tried to steady his erratic breathing, letting his head rest against the back of the chair. Goku curled against his chest, settling his head on Sanzo’s shoulder. He was also breathing hard, his hands still fisted in Sanzo’s clothes as if to let go would be to lose him completely. “Sanzo?” His voice was slightly croaky. “Don’t. Say. A word.” Now was not the time; reality was seeping back, dissolving the euphoria at the edges like paper burning from the outside in. Sanzo wasn’t prepared to analyse what had just happened. He was too hot and too sticky, feeling too vulnerable to chance saying something to encourage Goku further. Things would likely get complicated, but for now Sanzo just wanted to be for a bit. “Can we go to sleep?” Goku ventured, finally releasing Sanzo’s sleeve to fit more comfortably on the chair. It was a tight squeeze, but not a wholly uncomfortable one. “Clean up first,” Sanzo said, pushing Goku up off his lap. “Then sleep.” “Okay.” Goku shifted, sluggishly rose, and wandered through to the wash room. As soon as the door closed Sanzo drew a pack of cigarettes and a book of matches from somewhere deep in his pocket. When he pulled out a cigarette, it was all bent out of shape and unsmokable. “Damnit.” He cast the box and matches to the floor. He wondered what the fuck he was going to do now. Could he really take someone like Goku as his lover? It sounded absurd in his head, and would undoubtedly sound just as absurd out loud. Why did the annoying little monkey have such a hold on him? He clenched his jaw to keep back the “Fuck” crawling up his throat. He would deal with things tomorrow. He needed to wash and have a damn good night’s sleep before he could make head or tail of this… thing. Whatever it was. Everything could wait until tomorrow, including that bastard Gojyo for encouraging this whole mess in the first place. ~Fin~ |
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