Winter.
Frost melts in a hand-shape on the windowpane where Konzen touches the glass. As he pulls his hand away, he spots a figure down in the courtyard below, ambling along at a brisk pace beneath the naked black branches of the sakura.
Konzen pulls in a breath, feels it rattle down into his lungs in icy waves. Anyone would think a palace would be relatively well equipped to deal with cold weather, but maintenance is slow with every spare palace hand preparing for the Jade Emperor’s winter banquet. Everyone knows it’s just so the old codger can check up on who’s loyal to him. Konzen supposes he’ll be roped into going.
Ten minutes later, Konzen’s seated at his desk, completely prepared for when one of his personal servants knocks and enters at his bidding.
“Marshal Tenpou to see you, Konzen-sama.”
Picking up his pen but not looking down, Konzen scrawls his signature in the general direction of the bottom of his latest document - the one he’s been looking at for the past three minutes but hasn’t actually read. “Yeah, let him in.”
Footsteps light in the hall and Konzen thinks maybe he’s not ready, maybe he’s not prepared for this after all.
Too late.
“Konzen, hi.” A shock of black hair and the sheen of white winter light off spectacle lenses. Tenpou gives a little wave as he crosses the room, but it doesn't look entirely comfortable. “I know I said I’d drop by sooner but things have been quite hectic after my application went through. Managed to get the date pushed forward - I’m taking my squad Down first thing tomorrow morning.”
Konzen lifts an eyebrow, wonders why his facial muscles feel like they're made of lead. “Oh? That’s…” He can’t very well say ‘nice’; missions Down Below are rarely fun and games, from what he’s heard, from the reports that have crossed his desk over the years. “Constructive,” he finishes, wishing it didn’t sound so lame.
Rubbing his palms together, Tenpou smiles. “Yes, constructive is the word I would’ve chosen, too.” Lifting his hands, he blows across his knuckles. “We hope to achieve much in six months.”
Time Down Below moves differently from time in Tenkai. To a god, six months is barely a heartbeat, not even a minuscule chink in the grand scheme, but to Konzen right now it seems like an endless grey ribbon of time, stretching on farther than the mind can conceive. Swallowing, he draws in a laden breath. It really is cold in here, winter hanging on the air, dragging it down like it does the leaves and petals from the trees.
Tenpou is watching him. If Konzen’s not mistaken he’d say the expression on Tenpou's face is expectant.
“Well, take care,” Konzen says, wincing inwardly when Tenpou’s face falls. It’s too late to retract his comment. Shit.
“Oh, thanks. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Tenpou quits his hand-warming gestures and instead adjusts his glasses on the smooth, pale arch of his nose. Then scratches his neck at the back. Then fiddles with the cuffs of his coat.
They stare at each other, Konzen wondering what on Tenkai he can say now. Stupid, stupid.
“Ah, well I won’t keep you, Konzen. I see you’re busy. Just wanted to drop in and say goodbye and that I hope to see you again before long.”
A battalion of words march up his throat, the stampede so fierce and fast he thinks he might choke. Don’t go just yet, he almost says. Don’t leave me behind, he nearly utters. Yet when he opens his mouth to speak, a big stubborn stream of nothing comes out.
Teeth clenched, Konzen nods his head as Tenpou turns toward the door and oh fuck it’s all wrong, all so terribly wrong.
The study door clicks shut and footsteps light in the hall, fading.
Summer.
“What’s got your silky drawers in such a twist, Konzen dear?”
Konzen wants to smack that immaculate arching black eyebrow off her stupid grinning face. Instead, he bites out, “You, since you always manage to push more work onto me whenever I’m forced to see you.”
“Oh come now, that’s no way to talk to your favourite aunt. Be nice.” Kanzeon twirls a lock of spiralled hair around a glossy red talon. Konzen scowls at her, willing her to piss off. Raising an arm, she taps her wrist as if indicating an imaginary wristwatch.
“The gate will be opening shortly,” she says with a little wink. “Anyone who might possibly, maybe, perchance be considering going down there ought to hightail it now, if they expect to make it in time for the army’s return.”
“You’re insane. Bugger off,” Konzen tells her, ignoring the twist in his stomach. He forgot lunch again. Breakfast, too. Ah well, he’ll raid the pantry after he’s done with today’s work.
“Fine, fine.” Kanzeon saunters across the room, amazing Konzen with her uncharacteristic acquiescence.
The trouble is, it makes no difference; she’s already set his stomach churning slowly like a big old rusty cog.
Konzen remains steadfast in his chair, his hand flicking left then right accompanied by a loud thump-thumping of his stamp, then a scratch-scritch of his pen. The noise gives him something to focus on, something to zone into. Somewhere to lose himself.
He’s not sure how long passes before he’s forced to stop, the fine bones in his wrist clicking from overuse, his forearm tingling every time he moves it. Sweat dampens his hair at the back where he’s twisted it up into a tight knot, and his tunic is too much, even though the fine weave is from the arses of the most pampered silkworms in Tenkai. Rising, Konzen goes to the window and flicks the latch.
One shove. Two. The window doesn’t budge. “Damnit,” he mutters, giving the frame a thwack. Old wood splinters and one small fragment catches in his skin. “Fuck!” Konzen smacks the window hard, pain lancing across his palm and shooting all the way up to his wrist.
There’s a knock at his door, but Konzen can’t face his servant’s concern right now. “I’m fine, go away!” he shouts, but the door opens anyway. “I thought I said–”
“Konzen, hi,” says a voice he hasn’t heard in an age, or so it seems, but the habitual greeting is much quieter than before.
At once the stinging throb in his hand drains until it’s like a distant memory, or a sensation felt through a layer of wool. Breath catches, then disappears entirely for two long, loud heartbeats. The reflection staring back at him in the window is frozen like a statue, its eyes ridiculously wide and lips parted like an idiot. His own face. Schooling his expression, Konzen twists his body and makes himself turn around, not sure what to expect – will Tenpou look different? Out of reach, maybe; changed by experiences Konzen can only dream about?
But Tenpou doesn’t.
“I’m back.”
“I can see that.” Ah, there’s his voice and it’s steady. Good. “I take it the mission went well?”
“Very well, yes,” Tenpou says with a nod. Then he worries his lower lip for a couple of seconds. “Konzen, I need to speak to you about something. I suppose I should’ve said this to you before I left, but at the time… well, I didn’t really know what was going to happen. Six months is a long time to think about things, don’t you agree?”
Six months is a long time to try not to think about things. Konzen purses his mouth in a non-committal line.
“I like to think I’m a fair judge of a situation,” continues Tenpou. “So I hope I’m not wrong.”
Konzen blinks at him and surreptitiously rubs his damp palms on his thighs. “What are you going on about?” he asks, wariness creeping in. The glint in Tenpou’s dark eyes is unnerving in ways he cannot articulate.
With five swift strides Tenpou is beside him. Konzen's hit instantly with the familiar scent of him – old parchment and new steel, a smell that clings to his uniform, his wayward hair, his white skin.
“I’m going on about this.” Tenpou tilts his head, his breath carrying a bittersweet hint of clove cigarettes to Konzen's senses. Along with that taste there’s the barest hint of fresh, anticipatory sweat. The mixed scent and taste of it explodes across Konzen’s tongue and then drops, spinning, all the way down his body like a flood, into his bloodstream, pushing the blood faster around his heart.
What the hell? and Oh, and then Oh, fuck, rushes through his mind and becomes a vague, unimportant voice at the back.
One of Tenpou’s hands is suddenly on Konzen's hip, fingertips brushing back and forth over the bridge of bone, and all Konzen’s attention plummets. Through the flimsy silk of his tunic, he can feel the roughness of Tenpou’s skin, hear it making a soft shush over the fabric.
Konzen bumps against the windowsill, only half-aware of stumbling backward a couple of paces. Tenpou comes with him in a synchronised fall, making a small, deep sound of agreement somewhere in his chest that vibrates through Konzen's body and seems to reverberate within. When they can go no farther, Tenpou opens his mouth a little and Konzen feels the heat of his tongue, a shining point of wet brilliance that balances the sensation of the long, lean length of Tenpou's body.
There are many aspects of Konzen's life that he feels should be different. This new development feels inexplicably as it should be, and that revelation gives him a reckless burst of energy, one so strong he arches his body and accepts without trepidation the force of Tenpou's lips and moves in time with him, no coordination – none needed, thanks.
Two beats thump like distant cannons in the quiet room and then there’s this little breathy moan.
Maybe months pass. A minute as long as the time Tenpou was away.
When Tenpou pulls back his eyes are heavy-lidded and dark, almost black. Wetness shines on his lips and Konzen imagines, ridiculously and before he can stop himself, that the kiss is somehow captured there in their mingled spit. Tenpou's hand is still perched comfortably as you please on Konzen's hipbone like it's always been there, firm and hot.
“It’s good to be back. Sorry I left abruptly. There wasn’t much I could do. I’ll stop rambling now.” A grin ignites Tenpou's entire face.
It’s probably time to say something, something that’s not idiotic. “You just… what the… you kissed me.” Ah, hell.
“Oh yes. Well, it seemed like the thing to do.” Tenpou’s smile doesn’t falter. “I would’ve done it before, like I said, but–”
“I was an idiot,” Konzen mutters. Clenching his jaw, he grabs the front of Tenpou’s uniform and pulls him, hard, against him. This time, Konzen initiates the kiss.
As they get lost together, Konzen thinks that maybe next time Tenpou goes on a mission, it won’t be so difficult saying goodbye and come back soon.
~Fin~
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