“I don’t have a problem.”
The thing about Ludwig was that he could not, or would not, admit he was wrong.
Whether he was wrong was entirely beside the point. If he believed in
what he was saying, nothing could sway him or hinder his fighting spirit, or his
deep-set sense of honour.
He glared across the table, his voice a low, lionus grumble. His usually
indifferent composure was cracking at the edges, making his tone more clipped,
his brows dip a little bit lower on his pale forehead. “You’re the one
with the problem. You’re too soft - I’ve said it before.” He took a second to
let his point sink in - and oh, how it did; all of Ludwig’s pauses were
purposeful, every silence as intense as the following rumble of his voice.
However, this one seemed especially edgy. “I have no time to run around in
pointless circles with people like you,” he added.
There was only one source of such irritation, only one person who could rile
Ludwig up so far that he’d clench his fists on the tabletop, for once failing to
pretend he didn’t give a damn.
If Ludwig was showing any signs of annoyance, it was nothing compared to the
pinched scowl gracing Orpherus’s features. Gone was the soft, vaguely haunted
expression Orphe so often wore. Now, his mild blue eyes were narrowed fierce and
jewel-sharp with the effort of repressing his reaction to Ludwig’s words.
Orpherus’s fists were clenched at his sides, his lips pursed tightly. He was
obviously forcing himself not to say anything he would regret, or cause an
out-right brawl. All Eduard could see in his companion was frustration,
bordering on rage.
This didn’t bode well at all.
Standing to Orphe’s right, Eduard was tempted to reach out and press a
reassuring hand to his shoulder, but he refrained: what kind of man would that
make him, interfering in another man’s business?
Instead, Eduard could only watch the proceedings carefully, although he silently
swore to Orphe that if it got physical he would step in to mediate. As a best
friend he felt it was his duty to keep Orphe from harm’s way, even if it meant
slight damage to Orphe’s pride.
Ludwig made a curt gesture in their direction and muttered, “Get out of my sight
if you can’t discuss this rationally.”
“I don’t know when you got ideas above your station, Ludwig, but you do not
control this room.” Orphe’s cheeks were tinted rosy; he looked about ready to
pounce. “Perhaps you should consider leaving. Take a few minutes to calm
yourself.”
It was like being a spectator waiting for the start of a bullfight, all the
tension - it was positively crackling in the air, almost palpable. There was
also barely repressed excitement in the room. Eduard had all but forgotten the
other students, as they watched on around them, utterly rapt.
Sadly, these heated arguments had become something of a sport for a lot of their
classmates. It was almost depressing how reliable Orphe and Ludwig were during
classes, their fights more and more frequent as the year rolled on. With only a
few months left until the end of term, emotions were high and everyone was
striving even more to be the top of the school year academically.
The seconds passed in silence. Something had to give soon. Eduard’s gaze moved
from Orphe to Ludwig, then automatically to Ludwig’s right where Naoji was
standing. His posture was tense and his eyes darted between the feuding men, but
he also made no move to step in. Naoji had seen things spiral out of control
like this countless times.
Eduard didn’t realise he was staring until Naoji looked up and caught his eye.
He offered Naoji an exasperated smile and rolled his eyes, trying to lighten at
least Naoji’s mood, since he could not lighten Ludwig’s or Orphe’s. In return,
Naoji blushed and quickly looked away.
A faint, plummeting sensation took place in Eduard’s stomach, akin to that of
sinking, but it was not at all unpleasant. It wasn’t the first time it had
happened, either, but he could not place the feeling or equate it to a
descriptive word. He looked away from Naoji, just as Ludwig addressed Orphe.
“When you finally grow a backbone, perhaps we can discuss this issue further.
Until then…” he rose from his chair.
A collective breath was gathered by the onlookers as Ludwig rounded the table,
before heading in Orphe’s and Eduard’s direction. All eyes were on him as he
breezed past and exited the lecture room, closing the door a little too firmly
behind him.
Then, all eyes switched to Orpherus.
Poor Orphe. Eduard suspected that in the heat of the argument he hadn’t noticed
how many people had stopped what they were doing to get an eyeful. Now, a very
light pinkish tinge rose across Orphe’s cheekbones. Before it could get any
worse he turned to Eduard quickly, nodded his head to silently communicate ‘give
me a minute,’ before bowing awkwardly to the room and walking towards the door.
As the latch clicked none too gently into place a second time, everyone in the
room let out their breaths. What followed then was an excited stream of
whispering, some people expressing how glad they were the class wasn’t in
trouble from their sensei for rowdiness, but most lamenting the argument had
ended so soon.
Eduard wondered at his classmates’ sense of morals, bloodthirsty crowd that they
were.
He noticed Naoji was still standing beside Ludwig’s now empty chair, looking a
little lost, and went over to greet him. “Well, that was intense,” he said,
leaning in close to Naoji’s ear.
Naoji spun around, apparently caught off-guard. “Oh! Ah, yes.” He started to
straighten the cuffs of his jacket, and Eduard wondered what had made him so
nervous.
Once Naoji had gathered himself, he glanced up at Eduard and smiled coyly.
Eduard offered a warm smile in return, marvelling at just how incredibly
striking Naoji’s eyes were. They were beautiful, like cut onyx set between silk
black lashes. He’d always liked them, but reaching back into his memory he
couldn’t find many instances when Naoji had looked him square in the eyes.
He didn’t think he would ever figure out just what went on inside Naoji’s head,
but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try.
“Would you come for a walk with me?” he asked, deciding he was in no mind for
study after the class they had just had.
The other boys were packing away their school books now, papers rustling, chair
legs creaking as they were straightened around tables. Naoji scanned the room,
then said, softly, “I was planning to practice my Kendo tonight, but…”
“Oh, nice! Mind if I join you?” Eduard pushed. He smiled again, not wanting
Naoji to go. He didn’t have any plans and wanted some company, and he had always
been impressed with Naoji’s archery. His Kendo must be pretty amazing, too,
Eduard thought, if what he’d heard from Orpherus was anything to go by.
Plus, if he could spend more time with Naoji, he might be able to bring him out
of his shell a little. Maybe they could even speak of non-superficial things for
once. It could be fun.
After a long pause, during which Naoji stared at the floor, a very faint tint to
his cheeks, he nodded. “That would be nice.”
Eduard grinned at him. “Excellent! I’ve heard how good you are-”
“Oh, please don’t expect anything spectacular,” Naoji protested. “I’m a novice.
Not very good, really.”
Eduard raised an eyebrow.
Naoji blushed a wonderful peachy colour, a rising swirl against the cream-pale
of his skin. Eduard licked his lips, and swallowed.
“Well, then,” he said suddenly, realising - again - he was staring. He gestured
for them to leave. “The thing is, I’ve never done Kendo in my life, and truth be
told, I wouldn’t have a clue how to start.” He began to lead the way out of the
classroom. “So you have nothing to worry about, Naoji.”
He heard Naoji make a small, uncomfortable sound beside him. “Is that so…”
As they made their way out of the room Eduard briefly pressed his hand against
the small of Naoji’s back in a reassuring manner, thinking it would help.
Naoji’s steps faltered, however, and Eduard withdrew his hand quickly. Not good
to push it too fast or too soon. He had to remind himself that Naoji wasn’t like
Orphe - he couldn’t just sling his arm around Naoji’s back or nudge him without
warning.
Naoji glanced over his shoulder at Eduard and gave him an apologetic look, then
smiled one of his customary embarrassed smiles that Eduard found himself
helpless against. What he’d give to see Naoji throw his head back and laugh,
without holding back for once.
The lurch reappeared in Eduard’s stomach and he silently cursed it, and for the
first time ever, his own footsteps faltered.
* * *
Out on the school grounds the air was refreshingly cool, maybe a little sharp
for Eduard’s liking, but, keeping at a steady walking pace, they managed not to
grow too cold as they headed towards the dorms.
For a long time they went on their way in silence, the kind of silence Eduard
was comfortable with, although he wasn’t so sure about Naoji. The other man kept
his eyes trained on the ground, walking in his very formal, ramrod-straight
manner.
Eduard had always hoped Naoji could feel at ease around him, and in the past he
had tried jokes to pull Naoji out of his shell. Jokes, Eduard had learned, were
often a good ice-breaker with other people, but Naoji was a tough one to crack.
They had spoken only briefly of the current struggles in Kuchen, and of Naoji’s
plans to return to Japan when the school year ended.
In truth, Eduard didn’t care to think about those plans too much. At least, not
yet.
“Nothing like getting out of the stuffy classroom, is there?” he commented,
shoving his hands in his coat pockets. “Especially after those two have been
going at it.”
“True,” Naoji replied, still not looking up. “Although, I wonder if they would
have got on well in another life.”
Eduard laughed. “I don’t doubt it. Two of a kind, and all that… both passionate
about their country.”
“With differing opinions,” Naoji finished, and suddenly he gave Eduard one of
his rare, genuine smiles.
Thrilled, Eduard leaned in towards Naoji slightly as they walked, letting his
shoulder brush every now and again against the other man’s. Whether Naoji didn’t
notice or did notice and decided to ignore it, Eduard wasn’t sure. Either
way he was happy for that little bit of contact.
When they reached the entrance hall Naoji stopped and turned to him. “I need to
go and pick up my Kendo uniform since I can’t very well practice in my school
wear. I’ll only be a moment.”
“No problem,” Eduard said. “I’ll head out onto the grounds and meet you there,
if you want?”
Naoji nodded and turned on his heel, disappearing into the building.
Eduard walked at a steady pace across the courtyard and out through the
surrounding trees. There was a little patch hidden away half in the shadows that
he had found Naoji meditating in on numerous occasions, and that was where he
headed now. At one time, he had tried meditating too, but after a failed attempt
at the lotus position Eduard had decided it just wasn’t for him. One good thing
had come out of it, though: he had managed to coax a bit of laughter out of
Naoji that day, after falling over backwards and pulling Naoji with him.
Eduard was embarrassed to admit it, but he often thought of that place as
‘theirs.’ He shook his head to himself. ‘Get a grip, Ed. You’re getting too
soft.’
And yet, he couldn’t help a small, private grin at his own ridiculousness.
* * *
He was half way through shredding yet another blade of grass when he heard
footsteps approaching. Eduard rose from the stone bench he was perched on. “What
took you so long-” He stopped short when Naoji materialised from the shadows,
and his breath hitched in his throat. “Hey.”
“My apologies,” said Naoji, not looking at him. “It took me longer to change
than I thought.”
“No worries.” Eduard tried very hard not to stare… but damn, it was
impossible not to!
Whenever Naoji got dressed up in his training gear he really was a breathtaking
sight, that Eduard was sure he’d never get tired of viewing. He was sure he’d
never get used to it, either. Or maybe it was the tightening in his chest and
stomach he wouldn’t get used to, or that warm, curling thrill of arousal that
spread out like a wild-fire in the direction of his groin.
He coughed, dispelling that feeling as best he could before it went any further
and caused him trouble. He grasped at the nearest distraction.
“I know I keep asking you and forgetting, but what are those called again?” He
pointed to the black silk baggy trousers - he had mistaken them for a skirt the
first time he’d seen them, much to his shame - that Naoji was wearing.
Naoji finally looked up at him. “Ah, this is an umanori hakama. It’s customary
dress for practicing Kendo, worn over the kimono.”
“Hakama,” Eduard repeated. “And the kimono is the under part?”
Naoji nodded. “That’s right.”
He wasn’t about to say out loud how good Naoji looked in them, but he could not
keep himself from taking another long stare. The hakama were dark and tied just
below the waist - they hung low and snug on Naoji’s narrow hips. The white
kimono crossed over Naoji’s chest, somewhat reminding Eduard of a dressing gown.
The V dipped tantalisingly low, showing off the long, pale column of Naoji’s
neck and the smooth curve of his shoulder. Eduard’s gaze then slid down to the
milky expanse of Naoji’s chest; just enough was revealed to betray a slim, firm
body.
The rest, Eduard’s mind unhelpfully provided in an unwholesome slide-show, and
he coughed again, turning away.
“I’ll sit here and watch, if that’s all right with you.” He retrieved the warm
spot on the bench where he had previously been sitting, and waited while Naoji
drew his wooden baton out of its holder.
“Um… yes, that’s fine.” Naoji didn’t sound too confident about being observed,
but he hadn’t said no, either. He moved to the centre of the clearing, got into
position, and gracefully lifted the baton in both hands to chest height. He
paused, seeming to take a deep breath, and then slowly lowered the baton.
Eduard hitched his elbows on his knees and rested his chin on the palms of his
hands, his eyes following Naoji’s every movement - from the stretch of the
kimono over Naoji’s shoulders and back as he raised his arms, to the sleek twist
of his hips as he changed position.
It was odd details like this that more often than not caught Eduard’s attention.
“So this is part meditation, too, is it? But like… with a baton?” he eventually
asked, as Naoji swung the baton out to the side, then sliced it smoothly through
the air in the opposite direction.
“Partly. It’s meant to condition the spirit, so in a way I can see why you’d
draw that comparison.” Naoji spoke very softly, his attention mostly on the
baton in his hands and on maintaining his posture. “But when it gets intense it
can be quite harrowing on the body. That’s why I’m still an amateur.”
“You look good from here,” Eduard said before thinking. He bit his lip,
resisting the urge to laugh hysterically at what he’d just said. Or run away.
Naoji’s body stiffened momentarily, but after a second he continued, pretending
he hadn’t heard. “This isn’t usually referred to as a ‘baton’. My native country
calls them ‘katana’, although this is just a practice one, made of bamboo. Real
katana are not dissimilar to the swords you, Lui and Orpherus carry.”
“I see.” Eduard was thankful for the chance to recover from his previous,
thoughtless statement. “Still, I’ll bet you’re pretty lethal with that bamboo
katana when you need to be,” he joked.
Naoji let out a sound that might have been a laugh - it was too faint for Eduard
to tell.
After a few silent minutes of mental preparation, Naoji started to move faster,
cutting the katana through the soft breeze with force and purpose. He painted
symbols in the air with it that Eduard had no clue about, and seemed to dance on
the grass with a fluidity Eduard doubted even Ludwig could pull off at a ball.
The katana struck at an invisible opponent, with a cobra-like sharpness and
precision. As he turned into the fading light, Naoji’s hair whipped around him
like a following shadow, mirroring the dark determination in the dip of his
brows and setting off the pale of his skin like ink washing over marble.
He looked breathtaking, and moved like a demon.
Eduard wasn’t sure how long he watched, but finally the other man began to slow
down, his lunges shallower, movements shorter - softer - like a spring coming to
rest after being let loose.
Mesmerised, Eduard rose and started walking towards him. As he got closer he
could hear the other man’s laboured breathing, rhythmic and loud.
He stopped just behind Naoji and stared at the quick rise and fall of his
shoulders, and noticed the tails of the ribbon he had used to tie his hair back
were tangled together. Eduard reached up with one hand and drew his fingers down
the centre, parting them so they fell separate and stark against the ebony of
Naoji’s hair.
“That was amazing,” he murmured quietly, staring at the back of Naoji’s head.
Naoji started to speak but Eduard already knew what he was going to say. “Don’t
even think about telling me it was nothing special. To me, it was incredible.”
He smiled to himself. “Don’t spoil my fun.”
“All right, then,” Naoji replied, turning a little so that Eduard could see his
profile. “I won’t.” His cheeks were tinged from exertion. He looked really,
really good.
Eduard put his hands on Naoji’s shoulders then, partly worried Naoji would pack
up his things and leave. He leaned in closer, his face inches from Naoji’s hair,
and inhaled.
Under his fingers, Naoji’s shoulders tensed, but he didn’t pull away or struggle
out of Eduard’s grip, which was something to be thankful for. He just held
still, the muscles beneath his clothes and skin twitching a little.
“Eduard…”
“Thank you,” Eduard breathed, closing his eyes.
He had never been drunk before, to his knowledge, not even after a glass of wine
at one of his father’s parties, or the end of term sherry the older students
were allowed each year during the Headmaster’s speech. ‘Tipsy’ - yes, but drunk
so that everything felt like it was happening in a dreamlike way, and he had no
control over his thoughts, and his reckless side was itching to rear its head
and just take what it wanted - never.
This was what he had always imagined drunk would feel like. All he knew was that
he didn’t want the evening to end so soon, nor did he want Naoji to clam up
again and disappear from his grasp. His fingers clenched minimally on Naoji’s
shoulders.
“I mean, thanks for letting me-”
“Eduard,” Naoji said again, in his soft voice, that really compelling voice.
A violent shiver made its way up Eduard’s spine. The heat from Naoji’s body and
the pleasant smell of very faint, clean sweat was heady. Eduard took the last
step forward, pressing himself against Naoji’s back, and dipped down to take in
a deep lungful of him.
Now it was Naoji who shivered, and following that he let out a choked noise.
Eduard’s trousers grew tight over his growing erection and he was careful not to
push his hips too hard against Naoji. He was in half a mind to make a run for it
and hope that Naoji would forget this, and never speak or think on it again.
Yet he did not want to let go, now that he had caught Naoji.
Then, Naoji nudged backwards. All the air left Eduard’s lungs in one fierce rush
of breath. Had Naoji meant to do that, he wondered. That movement - was that
intentional or just a jerk reaction to the proximity? Eduard’s heart thumped as
he tried to figure it out, and by now he was fully hard and there was no way in
hell Naoji wasn’t aware of it after that jab.
“I-I’m sorry,” Naoji whispered. He sounded breathless. Eduard could sympathise.
“Don’t apologise. I should be the one saying sorry.”
After a long moment of silence, Naoji said, “W-what for?” The words didn’t come
out easily, but the meaning was not lost on Eduard.
At least, he sincerely hoped he wasn’t about to read them wrong.
Closing his eyes and moving back in, he let his hands slide down over Naoji’s
shoulders, brushing the soft material of the kimono. Then lower, down Naoji’s
arms, letting his fingers twist briefly in Naoji’s, before letting go and
settling his palms around Naoji’s waist.
The other man was still, but his breathing was still fast, if not faster than
before. Eduard could not see his face, but he could imagine Naoji had his eyes
shut tightly, his brows furrowed a little and mouth parted - a typical Naoji
expression, trying not to let the situation outwardly affect him.
When Eduard gathered his courage and smoothed his hands down and inwards to meet
across Naoji’s groin, his previous thoughts evaporated instantly and all he
became aware of was the hard rise beneath his fingers, and the sinful moan that
wafted into the air like a curse.
It seemed to snap Naoji out of his stupor; he turned quickly and Eduard was
forced to let go.
“Oh goodness, I…” He looked utterly lost, a little dazed, too.
“I know how you feel,” Eduard said, and he carefully pressed one hand against
Naoji’s face, running his thumb over the soft skin, back and forth. “You’re just
so-”
“Eduard, don’t.” Whether it was to stop Eduard from finishing his sentence, or a
surprising run of courage, Naoji leaned in and pressed his mouth quickly,
desperately against Eduard’s.
Eduard’s thoughts reeled, but somewhere among the chaos and arousal he had the
mind to kiss back, although it was happening so fast and hot and amazing he
wasn’t sure if it was any good, for a first kiss.
He only vaguely noted that he was thinking of it as their ‘first’, and that
there might be more. Many more, he realised with a thrill.
He broke away to breathe, then went straight back to Naoji’s mouth again,
figuring why stop now when it was going so well? He feared Naoji would suddenly
think he’d made a big mistake and leave.
His fears were uncalled for, he soon learned. Naoji didn’t pull back or flinch,
just remained stock still, a little tense, unsure of himself, but definitely not
against the contact.
At first, Naoji’s lips felt like the silk of his kimono, all soft and barely
moist. Eduard pushed his tongue against those lips and swiped across once,
tasting, marvelling at the little throaty noise Naoji made in return. His mouth
parted automatically to let the sound out, and Eduard kissed him harder, sliding
one hand around his back and still holding Naoji’s cheek with the other.
He tugged, and both of them exhaled two choked and helpless moans. A wave of
searing need rose up in Eduard and his cock twitched desperately, his hips
rocking forward for more pressure, more of Naoji’s hardness.
There was an end, a resolution to his want - he could almost taste it, hot and
needy in Naoji’s kisses, filling his own head, tightening in his stomach. He
wanted to let go, even though he knew it was ridiculously, embarrassingly soon.
He was so hard and breathless he could barely kiss any more. Instead, he broke
away and rested his forehead against Naoji’s, panting into his open mouth.
A few more thrusts of his hips and Naoji went rigid. “Hahh-ah.” His body
shivered violently and a very low, shaky hiss escaping him. Curling his fingers
in Eduard’s jacket, he balled his fists and pulled desperately. His gasps beat
out against Eduard’s cheek - fast, really fast, and Eduard heard a faint stream
of foreign words on Naoji’s next out breath. They sounded like an exotic plea.
Eduard groaned in response, grinding forward with his hands clenched vice-like
on Naoji’s hips to hold him in place. It might have been too rough, but at that
point he didn’t care. Just a few more - just a few faster and harder and he
buried his face in Naoji’s neck, riding out the rhythmic pulse of his release.
“I-uhh… oh, God.” He came messy and brilliantly in his underwear, and he
didn’t give a damn - he’d never been so high before.
Naoji was still clinging to him when he slowly came back down and managed to
open his eyes.
“Hello,” Eduard said, grinning. He was sure he looked stupid, but he couldn’t
help it.
Naoji blinked at him a few times. “Hi.” He blinked again. “Um…”
Clearing his throat, Eduard let go of Naoji’s hip. Where he’d held on so tightly
his hand was numb. “Let’s not start apologising, okay?”
The fingers holding his coat slowly unwound and released him. Naoji took a step
back, and suddenly Eduard felt the cool air, dousing him and waking him up from
the dreamy haze of their closeness. He stared at Naoji, waiting to see what he’d
do next.
Although Naoji could not look him in the eyes, he said, “All right. No
apologies.”
“Good.” Eduard took a deep, relieved breath and stretched. He winced at the
sticky heat in his underwear as he moved. He hadn’t anticipated how
uncomfortable that would be. “I think we should pack up and go back to the
dorms, don’t you?”
Naoji nodded. “Agreed. I’ll get my things.”
The afternoon had faded to a dim twilight, shadows having crept up and cocooned
the clearing in their arms. The walk back went quickly for Eduard, but no words
passed between them. The silence was a little bated, but not uncomfortably so.
On the landing between the third and fourth floor, Naoji stopped. “Eduard, I…
we’re going to have to-”
“I know, I know,” Eduard said, raising a hand to quiet him. “You’re going to
worry about this, aren’t you?” He sighed. “Look, don’t worry. It goes no
further, you should know you can trust me.”
“I do trust you.”
“Then quit frowning like that. You’re making me sad.”
Naoji’s expression softened, and he dared a small laugh at Eduard’s pout. Eduard
figured a time would come when they would have to talk about what had happened
between them, but he was damned if it would be today, or the next day, for that
matter.
“I have to leave you here.” Eduard smiled apologetically and indicated to the
next flight of stairs. “Naoji, thanks for letting me watch you practice.”
Naoji looked down at the floor. “Any time.”
Reluctantly, Eduard began to ascend the staircase. “And promise me you won’t
fret,” he called, and glanced back over his shoulder. Naoji was looking up at
him, and it made Eduard half-tempted to go back - he wasn’t sure what for, but
the urge was there. If a fresh bath wasn’t calling him so loudly, he might have,
and he knew Naoji was just as in need of one as he was.
“All right. I promise.” Naoji turned away and headed along the corridor toward
his room.
Soon, he was out of sight.
Eduard made it to his room without bumping into anyone. Most of the other boys
were at dinner by now, and any not would be engaged in their after-school
activities.
Once inside his room he stripped out of his clothes and went to retrieve a
towel. He didn’t head straight to the bathroom, though. Instead, he sat on his
bed and ran his fingers through his hair.
He didn’t regret for a moment what had happened earlier.
The one thing he did regret, however, was the fact that there wasn’t a lot of
time left of the school year, and after that - who knew where they would be?
* * *
“I’m saying you’re acting too irrationally!”
“And I’m saying you’re acting too soft. If you let them get away with it once,
they’ll take you for a ride time and time again.”
“They’re people. You cannot treat them like dogs!”
“You’re impossibly naïve.”
If there was one thing about Ludwig and Orphe, they were reliable. Like
clockwork, some might say.
Eduard watched his best friend’s features darken, watched Orphe’s posture turn
rigid with frustration. But instead of worrying whether Orphe would be all
right, his gaze then shifted to the opposite side of the standoff. By Ludwig’s
side, Naoji was standing, still and silent, and as beautiful as ever.
Their eyes met, and simultaneously a blush and a quick smile snuck over Naoji’s
face.
Content, Eduard slipped his hands in his pockets and waited until the storm
passed them by.
~Fin~
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